I have been hard at the job search since we got here to Korea. Most options for jobs here involve working on the military bases, but there is one promising possibility that would actually allow me to work off post in the Korean economy. One of the final steps in getting approved by Korean immigration for this particular job is a physical at a Korean hospital. My potential future boss made all the arrangements and told me to be ready bright and early the next morning. He also told not to eat anything that morning as the physical consisted of a blood test. No problem, right? Sounded quick and easy to me. Unfortunately things are not always what they seem.
The physical consisted of X-rays, dental, height, weight, eye test, and blood pressure. It was all pretty routine, minus of course the fact that all the instructions I was getting were in a combination of Korean and hand gestures.
The blood pressure nurse handed me back my papers (written all in Korean. . .who knows what they were writing about me) and directed me to what looked like the blood draw line. Whew, almost done. I waited my turn, entered and handed my paperwork to the gentleman with my standard apologetic expression of which I hoped conveyed “I’m sorry I’m an obnoxious foreigner in your country who doesn’t speak your language but I’m really a nice girl and I’m ready for this to be over so can you help me please?”
Imagine my surprise when instead of taking out a needle and vial to draw my blood, he hands me a small cup and points to a stall in the back of the room. This time I didn’t need a translation. It was clear: “Go pee in this cup”. Now, let me just say I have LOTS of experiences with urinalyses. I would say that thanks to my time in the Army I have participated in many more than the average person. And the instant he handed me the cup I knew I was in trouble. I simply didn’t have to go. And as a result of my extensive experience in this area, I have learned when in this situation there are two options:
- Attempt to comply with the directive and hope and pray that your body is more hydrated than you think and can fill the cup to the required amount
- Go to the end of the line and start drinking water
I have attempted the first option before and let me assure you that it normally doesn't turn out well. Usually the amount produced doesn’t reach the magical line that is required for a testing and then you have to wait even LONGER and drink even MORE water than if you had just swallowed your pride and gone to the end of the line in the first place. I made the quick decision to choose embarrassment over possible failure AND embarrassment and started making hand gestures to convey that I was going to need some water and time in order to complete this task. He eventually understood me, nodded, and led me over to a water cooler in the corner. I thanked him and directed my attention to the water cooler. And the sorriest excuse for a cup I have ever seen.
Introducing Korea’s version of the Dixie Cup:
I guess the up side is that it could also double as a hotel key holder if needed.
This is my not so amused expression after drinking the approximately 574 cups required in order to fill one’s bladder to the necessary urinalysis level.
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